Thursday, July 30, 2015
My Words Taste Good
I am guilty of passing judgement on parents before having children of my own.
As an adult woman with no children in my early twenties it was easy to look at my peers and have thoughts like...
"Does she seriously only feed her kid chicken nuggets?"
"I swear I will never let my children sleep with me, they need their own bed. Better get them out now before it's too late."
"If she wears that baby around all the time it's going to be spoiled and needy."
"Those parents need to get a grip on their kid screaming in the isle at Publix, they need a good spanking."
Yes, I thought these thoughts and more. I probably spoke them out loud to my husband and we most likely discussed why what we thought was right.
You know what? We are eating our words. And I'm so glad we are.
It's amazing how your life changes after you have a child. Your world is literally shaken, turned upside down, and you are left to figure out how to make it work with a million new variables.
Sometimes I feed my kid McDonalds because she is a toddler and she won't eat ANYTHING, most days (subject to change every thirty seconds). Processed mystery meat seems better than starvation. Especially when you know if they go to bed on an empty stomach you will surely be up all night long with them.
Mini d sleeps in the bed with us. She started out in a bassinet and was good for a solid 6 months. Once we had to un-swaddle her and put her in the crib she wasn't having it. We had to wake her up in the middle of the night to feed her and give her medicine until she was one. Between night-time feedings and having to be up before dawn to get ready for work, we were zombies. She HAD to get in the bed with us. We weren't being lazy, we were being good parents. We couldn't be the parents we needed to be on zero sleep. And for that matter, we love our bedtime and morning snuggles. Working full time means we get very limited time with mini d during the week. We take our snuggles and loves where we can get them.
But what about Mommy and Daddy time you ask? Oh, you will make it work. Trust me. Wink ,Wink
And who the heck knew wearing a baby would actually make them more independent? Study after study has shown the benefits of baby wearing. I can 100% vouch for the fact that baby wearing makes an independent child. It also makes for increased Mommy production and sanity. Having two hands and a peaceful child will save your life.
Another thing I've learned? You have to discipline your children. They crave it. Sometimes though discipline comes in unconventional forms. It's not always spanking. Sometimes it's giving a warning and taking something away as a consequence or just saying a firm no. And sometimes that causes a complete and utter meltdown in the middle of isle 4 in Publix. Yes, everyone will stare at you like you just committed a crime. With a toddler you can't wait until you get back to the car, they forget so quickly. You have to handle the situation in the moment.
Oh and those other times they are having a complete meltdown for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON.
All of that being said, I'm so glad we are eating our words. It means we are doing this parenting thing right, I hope. It also taught me a very valuable lesson on passing judgement or coming to my own conclusion before walking in the shoes of the person.
All you Mommy's on isle 4, I get you. And I'm silently saying a little prayer for you, and your sanity. I've been there. I am there.
Disclaimer: Each and every child is different. We all parent differently. This is our life and our perspective.